SUBWAY DOUCHERY : The Picture of Health
In this health conscious day and age, it’s difficult to hit the town without thinking about all the calories! So let the picture above be your guide to a nutritious but delicious evening!
- DRINK UP! Before going to Penn Station, drink about twelve to fifteen beers. It’s a good solid base of alcohol that coats the stomach and prevents the carbs from entering your fat cells.
- NO-SKI TO THE TAXI! It’s a beautiful evening, take a walk! See the sights, stumble into pedestrians, whip out your iPod and listen to Johnny Cash’s version of Hurt on repeat until your start sobbing uncontrollably. The only thing really hurtin’ will be the burnin’ of calories!
- TIME TO REFUEL! Woooof .. after all that exercise, the body becomes depleted. LOAD UP! We all know one large soda is never enough, so better make it two! The Salted Soft Pretzel is the perfect balance of carbohydrates and sodium. No wonder it’s the post workout choice of bodybuilders and yogis alike!
- REST UP! Your train isn’t coming for at least twenty minutes and the body only builds muscle while at rest. So pile up your jacket and scarf like a scented pillow at the finest health spa… begin the cool down!
- THANKS GIULIANI! There hasn’t been a mugging in New York City in the last twenty years so FUHGEDDABOUDIT!?! You are completely safe from losing your wallet, cell phone, shoes, and watch… trust me and the guys hanging out by the vending machines who clearly aren’t ticket holders!
*** Another addition from the Long Island Railroad series sent in by dear confidant of the Douchery, James! Thanks brother! Keep on Douchin’ ***